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22 May 2008
Fear
Why feel self-pity?
Why feel sorry for myself?
Why broke?
Why immature?
Why waddling?
Why no action?
Why is nothing happening?
Why am I not growing up?
Why fear?
Fear fear fear fear
Why sad?
Why angry?
Why ugly?
Why don't I see me?
Why death?
Why irascibility?
Why irritability?
Why tired?
Fear fear fear fear
22:25 Posted in Blog | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
16 May 2008
My temper
I realised my temper is such that:
As long as something is not negotiable at work, and it gets me everytime, I think of leaving.
For example, boss asks me to do something, Task X.
I was resistant, boss did not understand why.
Then I talked about my frustration with my colleagues. My colleagues suggested ways to let her know, how to phrase things better, as I have no idea how to talk properly when my temper is bad.
I calmed down and spoked to boss, explained properly why I am reluctant to do as she says.
Boss nodded in understanding.
But time comes when she can justify her stand as to why Task X needs to be done, irregardless of how difficult things are, ignoring MY reasons of why we cannot do it.
We are humans not robots.
Then my temper is such, things cannot get through and I am forced to do things in a way I do not like to, then I contemplate resignation cause I cannot work with my boss. I don't see how I can ever respect her cause she does not seem to have ever handled operations. Probably one of those with degrees that hit the top spot at one leap.
As such how is it that I can ever stay in any job more than 2 years?!?!?!
I can't.
I need to tame my temper but I can't see anyway to go about Task X.
00:05 Posted in Blog | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
14 May 2008
Things DELETED don't seem to totally delete!!
Like, I deleted a post......... but it always shows in search engines. Then when you view it from the search engines, it is still there.... Then if you click on any link on that deleted post, it disappears in the next page as an unavailabe option.
I need to do something about it.....
00:35 Posted in Blog | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
Fan Tai Sui
This Lunar New Year, I am supposed to Fan Tai Sui.
For my best friend, it started the night before Lunar New Year even arrived. His dad landed in hospital for stroke and even now, is semi-bedridden.
For me it has started about two months ago. Mar08.
Two office-political bad luck..... then there is the losing of things. Anything long-distance is hard to maintain.
The reason why I never intended, but had overlooked bearing my own real name in my blog, is that, I don't want people who know me personally know my real thoughts. Ugly thoughts.
Hatred and anger.
But I have OVERLOOKED!
and my name was there TWICE.
And I have deleted the blog but somehow, when I try to search for the blog in online search engines, it still shows?!?!?!?!?
Had more to write, but am tired. Need to go gym tomorrow so shall take my rest now.
Saw his pictures as a "teacher". Suddenly looking at his pictures, I realised, he is very very very ordinary.
Just so ordinary. Suddenly it dawned on me why people don't understand what I see in him.... hahahhhaha
00:00 Posted in Blog | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this