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28 March 2008
Kill me
I have already done all I could. Mask, moisturisers, water, honey, sleep, anti-biotics, anti-histamines, not sleeping with fan blowing directly at my face. No air-con while sleeping.
My face is red, swollen, inflammed.
My ears, super-inflammed. Peeling. Water forming on surface. Water with tiny bits of blood. Bloodwater. It smells. The ears would not stop secreting this liquid. And it itches bad. Burns bad. If I scratch, its nasty. It looks terrible.
If I can have the courage to kill myself to stop this suffering, I will.
If I can take another MC, I will. It kills to work with this going on.
I can't take no stress, skin reacts. But stress is a part of life. And definately in the working world.
Kill me please, just let my life be done. I may not be suffering as much as stroke patients, or handicaps, or cancer patients, or those in real pain. I am in itch and I cannot take it. And it burns. And I don't really care how others are worse off than me, I simply cannot take it.
Can I please be dead.
12:05 Posted in Blog | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
23 March 2008
WOWWWWW
Hear this......
This is what a Briton script-writer has told me about myself.
"May I ask, where did you learn your English? It's impeccable! Simply impeccable!"
I blushed..."Are you serious?!"
"Well, yes. Absolutely. You don't speak like Aussies, with the Aussie slang...."
"Don't I? I thought I do have a slang."
"No, its just..... no slang....."
"Wow, I don't get praises like this, and coming from a Briton!!! I should have recorded that down." I responded.
We laughed.
HEY! Talk about getting all that confidence back man! Woo-hooo!!!!
Think I am not exactly impeccable with my language but am flattered anyway.
17:15 Posted in Blog | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
19 March 2008
Remember this!
I was reading Daniel's palm 15mins ago.
"You're going to have two relationships, one of which is a marriage. Your marriage will be pretty stable, but then shortly you will have an affair. This goes on for a while and your marriage will be broken for a short while by the affair.
Your marriage continues alright after the affair."
Then I carried on that he will be quite rich and successful and that he is confident blah blah blah.
"You think I'm right?" I asked.
"What about?" he asked.
"The broken marriage part." I went.
"Nope, bull crap." he went. "Good I answered.... just listen but don't believe it."
"I know," he goes "I mean, do you think I am such a person?"
"I don't know" I answered.
"I stick by my morals, If that is going to happen then that girl will have to be like really really hot....."
Haha ......... remember this day....... what I predicted vs what will happen.
We'll see.
19:25 Posted in Blog | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
18 March 2008
Dont' Mock Me
All grown up.
Just saw Daniel this morning in shirt and pants..... all grown up. Handsome young man, getting all the young girls' attention.
He is like C***** to me.
All grown up to be brats eh? All so adorable when young and a brat and idiot when of age. Both probably thinking I am really stupid and muddle-headed. Ok, so maybe I am and they mock me. And I do not understand guys anyway.
And me? Trying hard to let go of the little boys I once adored.
Just need to guard myself against attachment. Attachment to kids, attachment to friends, attachment to things, the past. Think that is a real problem with me, having attachment to things and then not letting go. Very much like Mum, and that, I do fear alot. I don't want to turn out like her.
07:00 Posted in Blog | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
16 March 2008
SOTONG
Was at the Changi airport yesterday, checking in, felt butterflies in my stomach.
What was I nervous for? I can't really point out. Perhaps its that I have not travelled so far for a long time. Or that I am afraid that when I see J*****, we have nothing to talk about. Or in the first place, that J***** does not want to meet me anymore.
About a month ago, I messaged J***** and told her of my confirmed arrival to Melbourne. She asked if my aunt was picking me up and whether I needed a place to stay. I replied that I was staying with my aunt and my aunt would pick me up. Then I asked her when she might be planning to see me, that if she could afford to spend some days with me. She mentioned that she will have to arrange again closer to the dates.
Last Monday, I sent her yet another message, asked her to confirm when she will be meeting up with me. She told me to meet her at the corner of Elizabeth and Collins for lunch on Wednesday. Not forgetting that I once have messaged her that I will be arriving on the 15th, I thought she would have kept track and meant to meet next Wed when I do arrive. Come Wednesday afternoon, I received a missed call and a missed message from her saying that she was waiting for me "where Optus is" and that she was starving. I quickly called her back when I do realise, and she never picked up. So I messaged her as soon as I could. I felt soooooooooooooo bad on the miscommunication. I messaged her to let me know when she is meeting me next week again. She messaged "will let you know as I will be shifting".
See I am not sure. I think I have lost her. I think I have lost her when I was too authoritative when she came to Singapore. I took one whole week of leave just for her, cause she is too important for me.
So probably my nervouness came from this........ that I will end up not being able to meet her and that she will no longer be a friend of mine.
Trying to check in------Rules are soooooo tight now! Boarding time is like 1hour before departure and you have to be there at least 0.5hour before boarding time.
So I went to the gates, expecting many people to be there but no one was there. For a moment, I panicked. Called my dad and told him that I see no one there and the gate is not manned. He said "look carefully, there should be a sign saying when the gates will open." And I looked up, and saw this signboard, with lights, saying that the gates will only open in ten minutes. SOTONG!
I used to be more focused, resourceful, independent. If I was the me years ago, when I first went to Melbourne, I am not so muddle-headed. I would have known exactly where to go for help, ask around.
Age is catching up. A big factor. SIANNNNNNNN.
19:10 Posted in Blog | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
Melbourne Stop 1
Ah... coming out from the airport. Who do I see.. No one..... Frantic. Called aunt several times.. No one picked up. Waited for a good 20mins. Then my aunt appears. Happy to see her.... and even more anxious to see Uncle whom I had not seen for the past 7 years.
Uncle came to pick me up, and we headed to the first stop: nearest Mac for uncle's breakfast. He has aged..... really aged..... And he complained about how much the airport is earning from carparking, so he comes to the Mac's parking lot to park his car. Oh yeah, you don't pay parking when you park your car at shopping centres and mac and stuff in Australia, so as to encourage people to shop at these places. Its like that, should you be charging parking, people won't want to shop at your place. As the airport is somewhere you can't negotiate if you need to pick up friends/relatives from their flights, they charge.
Main attraction for me in Melbourne: Reminiscing in the past and FOOD.
After Uncle finished his food, he drove me around as I mentioned I wanted to take a look at the places I have lived in before. So we started ............
Second stop: 860 Nicholson Street, North Fitzroy.
IT HASN'T CHANGED SINCED I EVER MOVED INTO THAT HOUSE!!!! and its been like 9 years!!! AMAZING. The mess, the shrubs, the doors, (only the lock had changed)........... *****loss of words.
Third stop: 101 Gratten Street, Carlton. The best place I ever lived in, walking distance to the pubs and Italian restaurants of Lygon, and where Ferraris for Grand Prix are displayed. JUST missed the Grand Prix.
Fourth stop: Centro Apartments on LaTrobe. The most posh place I ever lived in. Expensive but super convenient. Short period of stay, like 3 months. Couldn't afford it even with my part-time good paying salary.
Fifth stop: Jeffcott Street. Lousy, dirty, super-short stayed apartment. Just needed that place so that when friends come visiting, I have a place for them. Think I barely stayed two months and couldn't take the filth. Its worst than Nicholson Street. Amazing.
All looking the same. All reminding me so much of the past. Things dont' change much. Except when we drive past Melbourne Central and Spencer Street station, there I see the biggest changes.
Food stop for Dinner: Sofia's. STILL the best tasting pasta EVER!. Its not at all like Pastamania in Singapore. The pasta here is cooked well and soft. Not like half-cooked. The pasta sauce is creamy, just at the right mixture, not like with water seeping out from the pasta and diluting the paste. Man, you do not know good pasta until Sofia's! The juice seeps out from the bacon, yet the bacon is not tasteless. YUMMMMMM Of course, as it has always been, the portions are gigantic. That goes as well for the cakes and Gelati. Yeah I always mix up how its called here in Australia and in Singapore. Why do they call it Gelato in Singapore?! But I gave the Gelati a skip. Am going for the famous one in Lygon next few days.
07:20 Posted in Travel and Food | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this