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10 October 2006

I understand, I know.

He put the lyrics of the below song in his blog, it fits his situation to a capital T.

I have always known but I was blinded by anger and pain to comprehend. I could not accept what was happening,...... I need courage now. I need to be strong enough, to tell him not to feel guilty anymore. To tell him, that I know he tried to be responsible, that he tried to continue loving me. To ask him to live happily.

But why do I bother to put him out of misery? Why should I? He can't be too miserable being able to pursue another and love another. He owe me this. Love is not just a feeling, its a decision. Once made, you have to make it work. You have to maintain it. It is not supposd to be anything one-sided. I am not so generous, not so self-sacrificing am I? I can't do it, Its too difficult. Besides, this is not the only reason for my utter disbelief and agony. My disgrace is that he betrayed me for another girl. Within a short period of time, falling for another.


What Hurts Most - Rascal Flatts

 

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house                 That don't bother me                                                               I can take a few tears now and then, and just let them out         I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while                           Even though going on with you gone still upsets me             There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok              But that's not what gets me

 

What hurts the most                                                            Was being so close                                                             And having so much to say                                                    And watching you walk away                                                And never knowing                                                              What could have been                                                             And not seeing that loving you                                                 Is what I was tryin' to do

 

It hard to deal with the pain of losing you                                 everywhere I go                                                                    But I'm doin it                                                                        Its hard to force that smile when I see our old friends                and I'm alone                                                                     Still harder                                                                      Getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret                       But I know if I could do it over                                                I would trade to give away                                                    all the words that I saved in my heart                                  That I left unspoken

 

What hurts the most                                                             Was being so close                                                                And having so much to say                                                     And watching you walk away                                                  And never knowing                                                            What could have been                                                             And not seeing that loving you                                                 Is what I was trying to do 

 

medium_kiss.2.jpg
Don't claim credit for trying, you tried too late and so you can never get it back. You never helped to keep the passion alive. Dont claim credit for your misery. I know about the love letter and how much you love her. The heart-breaking, soul-tearing love letter. You can't be any miserable.   Your excitement with her and your longing to see her and be with her. Sorry, how am I supposed to accept all of these? Because as much as I remind myself to remember the betrayal, when not so long before you love her, you were still loving me and hurting for me. You change as fast as a chameleon.
 
 
 

00:55 Posted in Blog | Permalink | Email this

Comments

Be STRONG and FREE yourself
Eventually you will find happiness

Have a though whether is worth it to be angry
Always look back into the past and smile at it then move on
Pls remember the good times you spent with him
Pls forgive and forget, it takes so much just to hate a person
Your friends and family will always be by your side

Posted by: Noone | 10 October 2006

Dear Noone
Really appreciate your encouragement, in the end I still e-mailed him:
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I read your post titled Just Passed By, featuring lyrics of "what hurts most".


I know you tried to continue loving me.

I had always known, but been blinded by anger and utter disbelief, unable to accept what was happening, or the words you are saying.

Don't feel guilty anymore. Don't live in guilt. Live happily.

By the way, i wanted to ask you how many times, cause i needed to know how persistent ur love for her was. So that I can relinquish all hopes, that's all.
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I didn't think I would have the courage but I still did it.
I am accepting all that is happening.

Posted by: Lorena | 11 October 2006

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