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10 October 2006
I understand, I know.
He put the lyrics of the below song in his blog, it fits his situation to a capital T.
I have always known but I was blinded by anger and pain to comprehend. I could not accept what was happening,...... I need courage now. I need to be strong enough, to tell him not to feel guilty anymore. To tell him, that I know he tried to be responsible, that he tried to continue loving me. To ask him to live happily.
But why do I bother to put him out of misery? Why should I? He can't be too miserable being able to pursue another and love another. He owe me this. Love is not just a feeling, its a decision. Once made, you have to make it work. You have to maintain it. It is not supposd to be anything one-sided. I am not so generous, not so self-sacrificing am I? I can't do it, Its too difficult. Besides, this is not the only reason for my utter disbelief and agony. My disgrace is that he betrayed me for another girl. Within a short period of time, falling for another.
What Hurts Most - Rascal Flatts
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house That don't bother me I can take a few tears now and then, and just let them out I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while Even though going on with you gone still upsets me There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok But that's not what gets me
What hurts the most Was being so close And having so much to say And watching you walk away And never knowing What could have been And not seeing that loving you Is what I was tryin' to do
It hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go But I'm doin it Its hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone Still harder Getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret But I know if I could do it over I would trade to give away all the words that I saved in my heart That I left unspoken
What hurts the most Was being so close And having so much to say And watching you walk away And never knowing What could have been And not seeing that loving you Is what I was trying to do
00:55 Posted in Blog | Permalink | Email this
Comments
Be STRONG and FREE yourself
Eventually you will find happiness
Have a though whether is worth it to be angry
Always look back into the past and smile at it then move on
Pls remember the good times you spent with him
Pls forgive and forget, it takes so much just to hate a person
Your friends and family will always be by your side
Posted by: Noone | 10 October 2006
Dear Noone
Really appreciate your encouragement, in the end I still e-mailed him:
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I read your post titled Just Passed By, featuring lyrics of "what hurts most".
I know you tried to continue loving me.
I had always known, but been blinded by anger and utter disbelief, unable to accept what was happening, or the words you are saying.
Don't feel guilty anymore. Don't live in guilt. Live happily.
By the way, i wanted to ask you how many times, cause i needed to know how persistent ur love for her was. So that I can relinquish all hopes, that's all.
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I didn't think I would have the courage but I still did it.
I am accepting all that is happening.
Posted by: Lorena | 11 October 2006